You are a virgin? You are telling me the truth? I believe you!" Count Dracula learns the hard way that virgins aren't easy to find in this funny Morrissey send-up of the legend, which was originally released as "Andy Warhol's Dracula." (Warhol apparently gave his blessing to have his name attached to the film, even though he had virtually nothing to do with it.)
Dracula (Udo Kier) can't suck the blood of anyone but a virgin or he pukes. He visits Italy in search of Catholic girls, whom he believes might be virginal, but it doesn't happen for him. He spends most of his time asking women intensely personal questions, being lied to, and then puking. He finally thinks he's scored when he runs into a 14-year-old. In one outrageous scene he licks the blood of a virgin off a floor. Better not to let you know how the blood got there.
The film is about as politically incorrect as you can get and they sure don't make 'em like this anymore. Kier is quite amusing as the sleazy, pathetic, wheel-chair bound vampire, while Dalessandro is awesome as the studly, bone-headed, misogynist hero. The acting and dialogue may remind you of the films of John Waters. Morrissey made sure his bad actors delivered over the top performances. He also injected some politics, with Dalessandro playing a working man (who even has a Soviet symbol painted over his -- risque stuff for the Cold War era) and Dracula playing a rich blood sucker.
There's also plenty of sex in this X-rated horror cult flick—and an incredible Monty Python-esque gore scene at the end when Dracula is dismembered. R and X-rated versions of the film floating around. You'll naturally want the X, which also includes a cameo from Roman Polanski. Look for the Criterion DVD, which boasts tremendous picture quality, commentary and even a still gallery. This movie used to sit in the porno sections of video stores. Now it gets the royal respectable treatment from Criterion.
The film's companion piece, "Flesh for Frankenstein," is weak compared to this, but still delivers. It was actually completed before this film. In fact, shooting on "Dracula" started the day it ended on "Frankenstein."